Texts From Last Night · Batmanuel's Favorites

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Batmanuel's Favorites Texts:

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(931): View more from Tennessee

Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....

Fav 11 1781 3956
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(208): View more from Idaho

My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed

Fav 11 2467 1660
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(301): View more from Maryland

Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.

Fav 9 4514 1419
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(646): View more from New York

A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"

Fav 10 2317 1156
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.

Fav 26 1054 1715
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(970): View more from Colorado

Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.

(970): View more from Colorado

Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.

Fav 18 1546 2096
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

somebody snuck up and got me drunk

Fav 4 2003 824
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(765): View more from Indiana

just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.

Fav 25 2025 1106
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