Texts From Last Night · oprime44's Favorites

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry ashlanexo hasn't picked any favorites yet.

oprime44's Favorites Texts:

Sort By: Date Favorited / Date Posted / Good Night / Bad Night

ADVERTISEMENT

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...

Fav 4 1780 972
share tweet
(843): View more from South Carolina

What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.

Fav 16 3188 1220
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(619): View more from California

He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.

Fav 9 1142 2668
share tweet
(607): View more from New York

I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.

(1-607): View more from New York

Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.

Fav 8 2233 1016
share tweet
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.

Fav 5 2030 2386
share tweet
(407): View more from Florida

Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?

Fav 3 2267 1276
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(413): View more from Massachusetts

styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know

Fav 9 1621 851
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(508): View more from Massachusetts

just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over

Fav 29 22128 1401
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT