Texts From Last Night · md0233's Favorites

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md0233's Favorites Texts:

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(307): View more from Wyoming

We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I think she's perpetually drunk

(484): View more from Pennsylvania

It's all she knows

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(310): View more from California

My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."

(323): View more from California

If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.

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(314): View more from Missouri

CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED

(+04): View more from

Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.

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(757): View more from Virginia

So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.

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(772): View more from Florida

So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.

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