Texts From Last Night · margerinebutter's Favorites

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margerinebutter's Favorites Texts:

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(818): View more from California

Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.

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(561): View more from Florida

I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly

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(516): View more from New York

You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito

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(972): View more from Texas

I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?

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(248): View more from Michigan

My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks

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(303): View more from Colorado

I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college

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(631): View more from New York

But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND

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(251): View more from Alabama

you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.

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(914): View more from New York

The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"

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(770): View more from Georgia

I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!

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(503): View more from Oregon

I chose taco bell over sex...

(503): View more from Oregon

good choice.

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(801): View more from Utah

I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.

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(563): View more from Iowa

Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...

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(907): View more from Alaska

Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night

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(252): View more from North Carolina

He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.

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(802): View more from Vermont

Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on

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(386): View more from Florida

He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME

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(607): View more from New York

Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.

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(682): View more from Texas

He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.

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(916): View more from California

the gays at disneyland are vicious

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(631): View more from New York

If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone

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(303): View more from Colorado

Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.

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(509): View more from Washington

I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?

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(505): View more from New Mexico

We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed

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(630): View more from Illinois

It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits

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(817): View more from Texas

HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?

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(585): View more from New York

I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine

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(248): View more from Michigan

I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers

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(989): View more from Michigan

his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard

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(281): View more from Texas

She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs

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(402): View more from Nebraska

meow

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.

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(253): View more from Washington

I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door

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(708): View more from Illinois

My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.

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(419): View more from Ohio

Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.

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(317): View more from Indiana

Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.

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(708): View more from Illinois

We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.

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(989): View more from Michigan

It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?

(224): View more from Illinois

story of my life.

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(303): View more from Colorado

his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy

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(214): View more from Texas

New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry

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(705): View more from Ontario

I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now

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(203): View more from Connecticut

My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.

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(443): View more from Maryland

i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.

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(916): View more from California

Hey you

(732): View more from New Jersey

You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?

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(662): View more from Mississippi

The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits

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(818): View more from California

i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.

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(515): View more from Iowa

Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex

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(480): View more from Arizona

How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?

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(480): View more from Arizona

From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.

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(845): View more from New York

Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.

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(207): View more from Maine

He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

porn star boner night. come get it.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My cat gives me a boner

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(727): View more from Florida

im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens

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(206): View more from Washington

She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.

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(778): View more from British Columbia

Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.

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(616): View more from Michigan

She acts like you when your on meds

(510): View more from California

She acts like batman?

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(712): View more from Iowa

Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer

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(586): View more from Michigan

theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.

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(985): View more from Louisiana

i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get

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(415): View more from California

I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?

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(908): View more from New Jersey

i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.

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(503): View more from Oregon

He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.

(1-503): View more from Oregon

Marry him

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(214): View more from Texas

I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat

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(415): View more from California

Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"

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(586): View more from Michigan

I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.

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(905): View more from Toronto

I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone

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(740): View more from Ohio

We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville

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(817): View more from Texas

how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?

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(540): View more from Virginia

I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes

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(630): View more from Illinois

Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.

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(719): View more from Colorado

just survived the first fart of the relationship.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

what if every blade of grass was a penis?

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

that's awkward

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(310): View more from California

Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.

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(440): View more from Ohio

I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Are you pooping in the stall next to me?

(404): View more from Georgia

Maybe....

(540): View more from Virginia

Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him

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(402): View more from Nebraska

your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me

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(616): View more from Michigan

Princesses don't give blow jobs

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(503): View more from Oregon

Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand

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(678): View more from Georgia

xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life

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(540): View more from Virginia

i really wish james franco would like my vagina

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(858): View more from California

Life is so much better after having sex.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes

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(707): View more from California

I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.

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(720): View more from Colorado

You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.

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(313): View more from Michigan

So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.

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(347): View more from New York

CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS

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(651): View more from Minnesota

he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.

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(226): View more from Ontario

This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon

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(248): View more from Michigan

I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!

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(586): View more from Michigan

You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.

(248): View more from Michigan

You're ridiculous

(586): View more from Michigan

Your hot

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(908): View more from New Jersey

im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs

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(347): View more from New York

alright she left, finally time to fart up the room

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(253): View more from Washington

Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.

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(309): View more from Illinois

I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.

(309): View more from Illinois

"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.

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(221): View more from

I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid

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(614): View more from Ohio

i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.

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(303): View more from Colorado

the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night

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(410): View more from Maryland

so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero

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(217): View more from Illinois

i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.

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(410): View more from Maryland

she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car

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(973): View more from New Jersey

coke and sex party at dan's

(201): View more from New Jersey

im watching greys anatomy with megan...

(973): View more from New Jersey

wha-pishhh

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(312): View more from Illinois

I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine

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(706): View more from Georgia

i would punch a child for taco bell

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(320): View more from Minnesota

You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.

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(702): View more from Nevada

i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing

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(562): View more from California

cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi

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(516): View more from New York

no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"

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(317): View more from Indiana

well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex

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(269): View more from Michigan

Pants 0. Shit 1.

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(631): View more from New York

did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??

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(208): View more from Idaho

know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing

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(253): View more from Washington

Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.

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(904): View more from Florida

btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets

(1-904): View more from Florida

i wish i had your life

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(940): View more from Texas

I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl

(1-940): View more from Texas

you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.

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(480): View more from Arizona

she looked like the bat from fern gully.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...

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(609): View more from New Jersey

imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.

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(518): View more from New York

i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur

(413): View more from Massachusetts

did it start talking like on Land before time?

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(917): View more from New York City

i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.

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(214): View more from Texas

Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed

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(519): View more from Ontario

and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas

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(440): View more from Ohio

I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.

(262): View more from Wisconsin

you're right.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel

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(423): View more from Tennessee

ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now

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(313): View more from Michigan

That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.

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(305): View more from Florida

I don't even know why I got my vag waxed

(786): View more from Florida

Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.

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(863): View more from Florida

And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard

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(718): View more from New York

we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I cont stop tolking in a british axsent

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(847): View more from Illinois

this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way

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(815): View more from Illinois

i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?

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(352): View more from Florida

Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.

(1-352): View more from Florida

What?

(352): View more from Florida

Just dont open the beer drawer.

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(904): View more from Florida

Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?

(1-904): View more from Florida

six.

(904): View more from Florida

Oh, I thought it was higher.

(1-904): View more from Florida

No, that would be the Matt's

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(850): View more from Florida

i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook

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(330): View more from Ohio

Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone

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(443): View more from Maryland

Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.

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(248): View more from Michigan

you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."

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(207): View more from Maine

I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.

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(719): View more from Colorado

so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.

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(440): View more from Ohio

He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim

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(315): View more from New York

I think im going to throw up on grandma

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.

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(602): View more from Arizona

Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Quick, to the slutcave!

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!

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(336): View more from North Carolina

life is too short to starve

(678): View more from Georgia

life is also too short to be fat

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(910): View more from North Carolina

so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.

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(510): View more from California

I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.

(702): View more from Nevada

Are you high?

(510): View more from California

No. That's why it's odd

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(904): View more from Florida

I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.

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(847): View more from Illinois

So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?

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(+27): View more from South Africa

I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.

(+27): View more from South Africa

I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.

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(810): View more from Michigan

i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants

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(305): View more from Florida

Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever

(615): View more from Tennessee

She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister

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(+44): View more from England

You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked

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(252): View more from North Carolina

I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg

(1-973): View more from New Jersey

gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?

(973): View more from New Jersey

yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars

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(226): View more from Ontario

can you blame him?

(519): View more from Ontario

i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT

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(518): View more from New York

haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting

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(312): View more from Illinois

i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'

(312): View more from Illinois

i was like PREG?

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(636): View more from Missouri

they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??

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