Texts From Last Night

(226): View more from Ontario

This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon

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For the discerning birthday girl who wants to be so full of cum she squishes when she walks.

Submitted by iblowpops on Sep 30, 10 at 5:55pm

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I was first in line. I hope the other 100 guys don't mind herpes.

Submitted by RAAAAAAAANDY on Sep 30, 10 at 3:45pm

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- Are you saying this based on the assumption that the texter is a girl or a homosexual male?
  
  Submitted by schlock on Sep 30, 10 at 6:40pm
  
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- Or just a normal dude?
  
  Submitted by Saibot on Sep 30, 10 at 7:21pm
  
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  - He could be bicurious
    
    Submitted by RAAAAAAAANDY on Oct 1, 10 at 12:25am
    
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this whore level just pounded off the fucking charts. all puns intended

Submitted by K66Aggression on Sep 30, 10 at 3:40pm

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- hey nothing wrong with wanting to get laid! bad idea to start the text with "this is a mass text" though. not the most appealing way to start your request for sex.
  
  Submitted by lalalalalalala on Oct 1, 10 at 3:22am
  
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''...time slots start at noon and are every 5 minutes''

Submitted by jk440 on Sep 30, 10 at 3:40pm

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Haha stealing this idea

Submitted by dbell930 on Sep 30, 10 at 3:36pm

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PS- Both boys and girls allowed.

Submitted by damn_gurl on Sep 30, 10 at 3:38pm

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If this is a guy, GENIUS! if it's a girl, can I reserve a 4 hour block? I'll be practicing my tongue pushups while I wait to hear back from you

Submitted by 2144571774 on Sep 30, 10 at 8:26pm

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- feel free to tongue the girl. personally, after she already had sex with multiple guys that day, I think I'd pass on the oral. Unless you're a gh3y.
  
  Submitted by thebatman on Oct 1, 10 at 12:44pm
  
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Lol if it were only that easy...

Submitted by MasterK on Sep 30, 10 at 3:49pm

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Just realised what to do for my birthday... :)

Submitted by EmmaXxX on Sep 30, 10 at 6:53pm

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First day sex

Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 10 at 3:36pm

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What's the last slot.. I want that one

Submitted by warren3224 on Sep 30, 10 at 5:43pm

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This is all kinds of win

Submitted by siskipedia on Sep 30, 10 at 5:42pm

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He/she has to look like george clooney/ Megan fox to get away with that

Submitted by EmG101 on Oct 1, 10 at 3:13pm

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This is why we have AIDS.

Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 10 at 11:10pm

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- actually we have aids because someone fucked a monkey.
  
  Submitted by lalalalalalala on Oct 1, 10 at 3:23am
  
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  - Not gonna point any fingers, but the person wasnt white.
    
    Submitted by urallstupid on Oct 1, 10 at 8:42am
    
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    Hmm... If we have learned anything, it's that it probably was NOT a person of color. The Tuskegee experiment; our gov't injecting Guatemalans... And that's just the ones we know of. So... Your assertion is not a given.
    
    Submitted by Lancaster on Oct 1, 10 at 10:21am
    
    237 240
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What if he's g@y? ITB FTW!

Submitted by tsoptsrif on Sep 30, 10 at 4:02pm

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3:49 - it is!!!

Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 10 at 5:07pm

289 240
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Not available in the morning?

Submitted by morningwood on Sep 30, 10 at 6:00pm

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dids on noon

Submitted by jetsjetsjets on Sep 30, 10 at 4:02pm

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im sorry but that just sounds painful. sex ALL day?

Submitted by all_nighter on Sep 30, 10 at 8:05pm

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- You must not be doing it properly.
  
  Submitted by alurkingwewillgo on Oct 2, 10 at 6:02am
  
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Wow... It would be like throwing a hotdog down a hallway if it's a chick... Remember boys and girls, herpes is the gift that keeps on giving!

Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 10 at 12:23pm

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Wood, of course not available in morning! OP's gotta rest!

Submitted by archer79 on Oct 1, 10 at 10:13am

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Wow emma, your my hero. Just let me know and I will start you off. 

Submitted by SMDB on Oct 1, 10 at 3:17am

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Fake...but better to be a fake whore than a real whore, I suppose.

Submitted by HeadbangingBabe on Sep 30, 10 at 3:41pm

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Well that is an ontario area code

Submitted by catface on Oct 2, 10 at 10:15am

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MasterK for some of us it is!

Submitted by frootyboom8 on Sep 30, 10 at 11:37pm

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RAAAAAAAANDY-so nice of you to share your STDs.

Submitted by dumbdumb on Oct 1, 10 at 1:47am

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Holy shit! Nice.

Submitted by Andikins on Apr 11, 11 at 4:31am

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More like 'sluts begin at noon'...geesh. I hope one of the other presents is a Plan B, or two.

Submitted by SALIA on Oct 1, 10 at 12:22am

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And this is a prime example of why the Maury show is still on tv trying to figure out who the baby's daddy is. No objections though, go get it!

Submitted by bkerwin on Oct 2, 10 at 12:48pm

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Sounds painful... Just saying...

Submitted by lostinadream on Oct 1, 10 at 11:47am

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Megan Fox< Shit\nJust accept it, she's a dirty slut who is probaby so loose you could stick your dick inside of her and all you'd feel is air.

Submitted by AlbinoBlackSheep on Oct 1, 10 at 3:44pm

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gross

Submitted by generic_name on Oct 1, 10 at 12:28am

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Ummmm ok me too! 

Submitted by Qiana2005 on Sep 30, 10 at 6:50pm

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- Ms. Chase?
  
  Submitted by Lancaster on Sep 30, 10 at 10:32pm
  
  271 244
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(226): View more from Ontario

Comments

Submitted by iblowpops on Sep 30, 10 at 5:55pm

Submitted by RAAAAAAAANDY on Sep 30, 10 at 3:45pm

Submitted by schlock on Sep 30, 10 at 6:40pm

Submitted by Saibot on Sep 30, 10 at 7:21pm

Submitted by RAAAAAAAANDY on Oct 1, 10 at 12:25am

Submitted by K66Aggression on Sep 30, 10 at 3:40pm

Submitted by lalalalalalala on Oct 1, 10 at 3:22am

Submitted by jk440 on Sep 30, 10 at 3:40pm

Submitted by dbell930 on Sep 30, 10 at 3:36pm

Submitted by damn_gurl on Sep 30, 10 at 3:38pm

Submitted by 2144571774 on Sep 30, 10 at 8:26pm

Submitted by thebatman on Oct 1, 10 at 12:44pm

Submitted by MasterK on Sep 30, 10 at 3:49pm

Submitted by EmmaXxX on Sep 30, 10 at 6:53pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 10 at 3:36pm

Submitted by warren3224 on Sep 30, 10 at 5:43pm

Submitted by siskipedia on Sep 30, 10 at 5:42pm

Submitted by EmG101 on Oct 1, 10 at 3:13pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 10 at 11:10pm

Submitted by lalalalalalala on Oct 1, 10 at 3:23am

Submitted by urallstupid on Oct 1, 10 at 8:42am

Submitted by Lancaster on Oct 1, 10 at 10:21am

Submitted by tsoptsrif on Sep 30, 10 at 4:02pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 30, 10 at 5:07pm

Submitted by morningwood on Sep 30, 10 at 6:00pm

Submitted by jetsjetsjets on Sep 30, 10 at 4:02pm

Submitted by all_nighter on Sep 30, 10 at 8:05pm

Submitted by alurkingwewillgo on Oct 2, 10 at 6:02am

Submitted by Anonymous on Oct 2, 10 at 12:23pm

Submitted by archer79 on Oct 1, 10 at 10:13am

Submitted by SMDB on Oct 1, 10 at 3:17am

Submitted by HeadbangingBabe on Sep 30, 10 at 3:41pm

Submitted by catface on Oct 2, 10 at 10:15am

Submitted by frootyboom8 on Sep 30, 10 at 11:37pm

Submitted by dumbdumb on Oct 1, 10 at 1:47am

Submitted by Andikins on Apr 11, 11 at 4:31am

Submitted by SALIA on Oct 1, 10 at 12:22am

Submitted by bkerwin on Oct 2, 10 at 12:48pm

Submitted by lostinadream on Oct 1, 10 at 11:47am

Submitted by AlbinoBlackSheep on Oct 1, 10 at 3:44pm

Submitted by generic_name on Oct 1, 10 at 12:28am

Submitted by Qiana2005 on Sep 30, 10 at 6:50pm

Submitted by Lancaster on Sep 30, 10 at 10:32pm

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