So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize