Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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