There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Send us your Text From Last Night!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
