Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Send us your Text From Last Night!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
