Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
