if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
