Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
