never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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