I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
