Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Come see our sink grown plant.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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