Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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