he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
