So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
