So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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