I think my vagina is haunted
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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