I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
