Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
