Christians are straight up FREAKS
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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