So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
