There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
