My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I love you. Go after that dick
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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