I can tuck mytits in my pants
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
