I want to walk on stilts...naked
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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