I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Enjoy the penises
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
