Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
