Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
