What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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