guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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