You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
