Kareoke will never be a sober sport
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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