the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
