I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
