So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
