I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
