he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
