i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
