now i know why i became what i already was.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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