I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
