I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
