And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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