So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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