There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
