by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
