ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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