I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Best friends brother. Beat that.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
