Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
