Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
